Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Another Poop Themed Story That You Probably Didn't Want to Know

Around four AM this morning, I woke to a whimpering baby.  This normally indicates that said baby is hungry--we're feeding him the transitional 12-18 formula stuff because my dad literally got $120 of it for basically $1.  True story--or just looking for a drink (which I totally understand because I wake up at least once a night for a drink and so does Brad; we're all fish here, apparently).  So, anyway, I go in there, give him his bottle, he rolls to his side, the universal cue for he's-falling-asleep, I go back into my bed, fall back asleep.

Probably an hour later, whimpering baby.  This time I go in there and is smells a little fishy.  But my son is prone to the reesty farts in the early morn', so I wasn't worried about it.  He always farts in his room, it's pretty smelly.  But I figured that he was just in a little pain from his teeth coming in still and that's what woke him up, so I give him the bottle to chew on, go back to bed.

More whimpering.  Six AM.  Go in there, it reeks to high heaven.  I look down and realize the lower front of his shirt is wet, too.  This can't be good.  Run, get a diaper and a buttload of wipes.  Change the grossest, most wet poopy diaper of my life.  Seriously, more liquid than the newborn diapers of yore.  And it was literally the worst smelling thing ever.  EVER.  Had to hurry and change all of his bedding; luckily we always lay a blanket beneath and over him, so no sheets had to be changed.

But, oh, THE SMELL.  His room smelled just awful.  So then I'm grabbing the air freshener which then made the room smell like the-worst-poo-ever and pine trees.  Awesome.  Then I realize George still smells.  But we can't do a bath yet because, dude, we're both still tired.  So I literally just put good smelling lotion on him.  Mom of the Year?  I think so.

But the room still smells like butt.  So I grab the always-helpful matches and light like three and finally something eats away at that nasty smell.

Not that anyone ever wanted to know this, but, you know.  It's a fun morning so far.

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