Thursday, November 23, 2017

George Moment #19

Playing our nightly game of Mario Kart.

Bradley: George, I love hanging out with you.
George: Oh, I love hanging out with you too! Not that much, but...

Solid burn, George.

Friday, November 10, 2017

Family Love #12

Playing D&D with the family.

Bradley: You notice the satyr is wearing a glamour studded leather armor.
James: So it's bedazzled?
Bradley: Basically.

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Family Love #11

Bradley: Baseball's cool again!
Brandon [very calmly]: It always has been, Brad.

Sunday, October 29, 2017

Why We Are in Love #21

Watching the Steelers v. Lions game. Antonio Brown is on Heather's fantasy football team.

Heather: What number is Brown?
Bradley: Uh, well, brown is actually a color.

Friday, October 27, 2017

Family Love #10

Bradley: I can't watch Twitch at work.
Brandon: Yeah, but you should try to.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Why We Are in Love #20

Bradley comes running into the bathroom where Heather is curling her hair.

Bradley:  Oh, you're curling your hair!
Heather:  Yeah, what's up?
Bradley:  I smelled something burning.  It's just you.

George Moment #18

Bradley and George are having an epic lightsaber battle.  George falls to the ground.

Bradley:  I am a Jedi, I will show mercy.
[Bradley lowers his lightsaber.  George takes the opportunity and whacks Bradley in the knees, taking him down.]
Bradley:  Ouch!  You Sith!

George knows what's up.

Monday, October 9, 2017

Why We Are in Love #19

Sofia wakes due to a wet bum. Bradley goes into change her, and is smiling when he returns to the front room.

Bradley: While I was changing her, I farted, and she farted back at me! Just a little, "POOT!" It was the cutest thing I've ever experienced.

I was dying. I love this man!

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Why We Are in Love #18

Bradley snuggles up to me in bed as we're getting ready to go to sleep. In the process, he grabs my forearm, which is currently covered in eczema.

Heather: Ouch, don't. Your hand is too hot, it burns my eczema.
Bradley: ...what if you were bit by a radioactive snail and so the salt from my sweat is what's burning your skin?

Cue a long discussion about the drawbacks Snail Girl would experience, like having to basically eat antiperspirant so she wouldn't sweat, and dealing with a hostage situation on the Great Salt Lake. Worst power ever.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Family Love #9

Dad: They're California petite grapes.
Bradley: Yeah, but what does that even mean?
Mom and Dad [in sync]: ...I don't know.

Friday, August 11, 2017

Sofia Moment #2

The girls have been asleep for a while. Sofia starts making noise over the monitor. I go in to check on her.

Sofia [sees Heather]: Sowwy, Sowwy.
Heather: It's okay, do you need a drink?
Sofia: Want to have. [Hands Heather her bottle.]

She was so polite and quiet, we were dying!

Monday, July 31, 2017

Sorry for the Fugliness!

Photobucket is a d-bag and randomly discontinued their third party image hosting for free users.

Photo links will be broken throughout the site until I fix them.  Sorry for the fugliness in the meantime!

Monday, July 3, 2017

Baileys Lately #5

Oh hey, has it already been nearly a decade since I last wrote?  Guess I better randomly post something!

  • At work, Brad got a new office with his new BFF, Jesse.  They quote memes, sing stuff from Family Guy, talk about Star Wars (a lot), craft theories about their favorite films, discuss creating a private eye business when they retire, among many other buddy-buddy things.  Basically, they spend 40-hours a week giggling together as they geek over stuff.  Jesse has even crafted an elaborate back story for him and Brad's imagined Gray Jedis.  So sweet, awwwe.
  • I've gone in to tuck George in twice now to find him with socks on his hands--one of his, one of Brad's.  Yeah, I don't know, but it sure is funny!
  • Maren is into holding hands right now.  She'll grab whoever's hand she can find, and just drag them through the house as long as they'll let her.  And, let me tell you, girl got a grip on her!
  • Sofie is such a funny ham.  If you smile at her, she'll do her best cheesy smile back.  If she's talking, and you're not listening, she'll stare you down until you do, and then start right back up into her story.  She has many, many stories.  They are wonderful.
  • Bane is currently outside our door trying to open it with his nose because the fireworks are so scary.  He makes me laugh.  (Don't worry, he's inside, safe from the scariness.)
  • Brad and I really, really, really like driving together.  We drove down to Temple Square to meet up with Brad's family (his parents and twin's family are in town), and we had fun blah-blah-ing the whole ride down.  We miss driving to work together every day, that was the best!
  • At this moment, Brad is playing Skyrim.  "I was trying to be a good guy," he explained, "But I already screwed that up!"  He killed a witch and was in the process of stealing all the stuff in her house.  Thief, murderer!
  • I need to write more.  I really like writing.  I say this a lot and it never changes.
  • I've been re-reading The Princess Diaries series and every time I read them I'm like, "I forgot how fun journaling is!  I need to be more like Mia!" and then I just keep binge reading every night until past midnight.  Yep.

Thursday, March 23, 2017

George Moment #17

George walks up and hugs Sofie, and then Maren.

George [as he finishes hugging the girls, he says to them both]:  Awe, I love you guys.  You're gross.

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Maren Moment #1

One Saturday morning, Brad was a kind husband and let me sleep in.  He was standing up, holding Sofia, when he felt a pricking on his stomach.  Assuming it was just Maren trying to get a look at his belly button again, he looked down to talk to her.

Only to see what he was feeling was a knife.

That Maren was poking him in the stomach with.

True story.

(Luckily she had pulled the dullest knife of the counter.  Good times, Mare Bear.)

Friday, February 10, 2017

Baileys Lately #4


  • On Wednesday this week, Maren took a big ol' dump and then took the initiative to take her diaper off herself.  While I was upstairs.  I just come down and ask, "Why are you naked?  And what's that smell?"  Ah, parenthood.
  • Speaking of which, every time George poops lately he'll ask, "Hmm, what's that smell?  It's poop!"  It's great.  Stinky, but so funny.
  • Pretty sure Sofia's favorite food is rice.  Last night, we were eating homemade steak burritos.  Sofie was done eating as I sat down to eat my second one.  As soon as she saw the rice she was so game for a bite.
  • I recently used some Uncle Ben's Spanish rice for lunch to make a more exciting quesadilla for the girls.  They loved it... and now think quesadillas without rice suck.  The girls' and their eating pallets.  Just like their dad.  Sheesh, fancy people.  And here I am legitimately being all, "Man, I really miss lunch room food."  So good.
  • While I was on my girl's trip to Disneyland I discovered that there's no "growing out of" the stinky feet that came from my pregnancy with the girls.  When I was pregnant with George, I acquired stinky feet syndrome.  After I gave birth, it went away.  Uh, yeah, no.  Not this time.  I had to wash my feet every night.  Like, scrub down.  I was so smelly.  Stinky Feet Girl, that's me.
  • Let's roll back to talking about rice.  I LOVE RICE SO MUCH.  I've never been huge into rice, but all of a sudden I'm like, MAKE IT RAIN.  RICE FOR ALL THE MEALS.  So good, guys.  So delicious, the texture goes with everything.  No joke.
  • Korean shows all seem to have this recurring theme of people being creepy obsessed with people.  Like, super creepily.  Stalker type.  Is it just some weird television trope or is it really that common?  It's insane.  If it's really like that there, Korea is a freaking scary place!  Don't trust nobody, yo.
  • Yes, I spent time on this bullet list to discuss my Korean shows.  You're welcome.

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Sofia and Maren at Five Months

NOTE: If I post these sort of posts, they're going to be WAY late.  For example, this post is 13-months late.  Yep.  But I like these posts.  I WANT TO POST THEM.  But I'm lazy about compiling them.  So yeah.  Here, uh... here you go.



The girls experienced their first airplane ride the day they turned five months!  We were flying to Disneyland for my family's big "welcome-home-James-D" experience.  The flight there was so NUTS.  The airport security, for one, was the most unaccommodating experience in America.  Here we were with our caddy-stroller, our hands to the brim caring for three kids.  We both got searched.  As usual, Brad had to be mega-searched in the creepy opaque room as well.  I was alone with three kids at this point.  That was fun.  The testing of the warm bottle water we had stored in a thermos was also so enjoyable.  It took forever.  They were so rude.  So much suck at once.

Basically, when we got on the plane we were basically ready to crawl into a hole as it was.  Then we're finding out that you can only have one lap-sitting infant per row.  Oh gee, wouldn't that have been swell to know, oh, I don't know, when we booked?  So Maren had to go sit with my parents.  Sofie and George were not happy as soon as we were in the air.  Also fun.  Maren had a slight breakdown as we took off, um, yay me?  Luckily the girls slept for the better half, so they didn't do too badly.



Long story short, once we finally got our rental car, finally got the rental car seats figured out, and FINALLY got to our hotel, while everyone else went out to dinner uh, yeah, the family of five?  We totally went straight to bed.  We had the girls just sleep in their car seats in the small, separated kid's room and they did GRAND.  I was stressed out, but it was totally fine.  The only issue was that their room would get super duper cold or super hot.  I was constantly going back and forth, turning the heat on, then off, then on, and so forth.  But they really did just wonderful.  The Podee bottles saved us a lot of gruff in this situation as well!

Disneyland was so freakin' fun.  We were constantly on the go, with our hands full caring for three kids during the magical experience, but it was still really fun.  Things went smoother than I even imagined for the girls, even though they were stuck in their stroller most of the time.  Even though it was a freaking nice stroller to boot, it still sucks to be constrained like that.  It was good that we took them so young because they were still napping multiple times a day, and the stroller worked out just fine for that.  The first day we stayed the entire day.  Yep.  And it was totally fine.  It was a blast.  We were exhausted, though, haha.



The girls did great in the baby carriers at Disneyland as well.  Sofia even fell asleep in it one day, which is like... mega-cute-factor.  We got several, "Oh my, twins?!" comments, but even more comments on our crazy-awesome-stroller, haha.

Prior to our flight home, we took the kids to the beach with my family.  It was suuuper windy, so the girls were like, "What is this sorcery?!"  Not crying, just confused, haha.  Thus Brad and I took turns playing with them in the van rather than the sand to keep them out of the wind.  They were adorable.  That last day, even with the beach and going to eat, the girls were just fine.  Nothing too crazy.



At the airport, security check at Long Beach was SO much kinder to our crazy-twin-life than Salt Lake was.  They were so kind, so considerate.  We had multiple people, employee and non-employee, offering to help us through the security check points.  When we got to our spot to wait for our flight we were seriously all just feeling refreshed.  It was such a great experience.  The girls laid on the floor and played and it was SO CHILL.

The flight home was also an experience of wonderment and awe.  No joke.  It really was.  The girls both fell asleep and George was an angel.  The guy in front of us turned out at the end of the flight and ohh-ed and ahh-ed, saying, "I seriously would not have know that you had kids if I hadn't turned around."  TEARS OF PRIDE.  More like really lucky, haha.



Beyond Disneyland (what, there's life after vacation?!), Sofie learned to roll over!  She's seriously the hardest working baby I've ever met.  Holding her head up was a steep hill to climb, but it was all that she wanted to do, and all that practice had her rolling over in no time.  It's been so cool to watch her at work.  She's dedicated, that one.

Maren is obsessed with sitting up.  If Sofie wanted to get the head-up thing down, Maren is determined to sit up on her own, no matter the mishaps.  These girls are so impressive, they just working really hard.  Maren is constantly demanding to sit-up, stand-up, working, working, working.  I love it.


Oh holy crap.  We were all SO SICK over Thanksgiving, and the girls were no exception.  Maren took it with the most stride; even though the sickness involved barfing like no other, Maren seemed to handle it the best.  She only threw-up a few times and then was pretty much good.  Poor Sof was in Vomit Town.  Every twelve seconds, it felt like (exaggeration?  Maybe).  That poor baby couldn't hold anything down one day, it was just one after another.  Then she was gagging on it and throwing up again.  Poor baby!  I'm surprised, but she didn't get dehydrated, even with how little she seemed to be keeping down, so that was a relief!

No matter what we do, we can't convince Maren to even sort of be cool with binkies.  Sofia is a binky girl for the most part... sort of.  Ish.  Like 50/50.  (Which totally counts.)  It's weird to be scrambling for a binky at bedtime, but I love it!  I LOVE BINKY FACE.  Why my kids no binky face?!



Both of them love their grandparents.  Maren is super obsessed with my mom to the point of getting upset when she's unavailable for holding her.  Sofie loves everyone, but she super digs staring at James.  But let's be honest, Sofie just loves a good stare down, and James is as good a candidate as any!

This month the girls were Bumbo'd up for the first time!  With George, we never used legit-name-brand-Bumbos, so it was semi-nerve wracking to use them for the first time.  But dude, twins.  Teaching two babies to sit up on their own while still have a two year-old in the mix?  Yeah, we's be needin' dem Bumbos.  It's been pretty adorable, to say the least.  Even though it's a new experience.  But really, I think that twins provide a whole new twist to a LOT of things, whether they were done with the first kid or not!



First time trying food!  First was banana cream pie, then chocolate pudding, and then pears.  Hmm, can you tell we had Thanksgiving this month?!  But really, it's only natural that daughters of Heather Bailey eat pie as one of their first foods.  They loved it all.  Maren couldn't get enough, she was shaking with the anticipation that came between bites.  IT'S SO CUTE.  And also, that's my girl!

Sofia and Maren notice each other WAY more.  They actually hold hands pretty often when they're next to each other, which is so freaking cute you may die.  They also like to stare at each other and gurgle sometimes.  Not BFFs by any means yet, but they're warming up to this twin thing, which is such a joy to watch!



They've both gathered such an interest in toys and in playing with what's around them!  They especially like to spin things, but they also enjoy just finding different textures as well as ogling at toys.

Sofie is so funny with her tongue, it's always out and it's adorable.  Maren is chewing on everything, but especially her dad's fingers and blankets.  I doubt teeth are on the way considering her brother's track record, but who knows!  Her sleep hasn't been affected, and she's still her adorable, happy self so I don't see teething in near future yet.



One of the funniest things Brad likes to do with the girls is Baby Hair Salon.  It started with Sof; she was in her Bumbo and Brad laid down beside her and she started playing with his hair (and drooling in it, which is a touch I wish real hair salons had).  So, we decided to get Maren in on the action and they both think it's so silly.  They loved playing with Brad's hair, it's freaking cute.  I also may or may not take advantage of this playing-with-hair gig as they've yet to pull hair.  IT'S SO NICE.

Maren is suuuper ticklish.  Adorable levels are high over here, people.  But even cuter, she'll mimic you and blow raspberries at you.  AND IT'S TOO CUTE.  Yeah, I should grow my vocabulary beyond "adorable" and "cute", but I can't help it:  it really is that.  All the time.  I love these girls.  I mean, Sofie mimics Brad's wookie call for crap sake.  AND IT'S SO CUTE.

George Moment #16

Heather is changing Sofia's bum after her nightly bath; Sofie is crying because she's super ready for bed.

George:  [Squats next to Sofia.] Awe, Sofie.
Heather:  Yeah, she's sad.  She's ready for bed.  Can you make her smile?
George:  Sofie... say cheese!

Well, that's one way of doing it.

George Moment #15

George is watching as Heather picks up the kitchen after dinner.

George:  [Sees the raspberry jelly.]  I want some jellyfish.
Heather:  ...you want some what?
George:  I want some jellyfish jelly?

Thank you, Amazon Prime for offering the second season of SpongeBob.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Baileys Lately #3

I've actually started doing my daily documentation using a private Instagram account, so rather than recording daily happenings in my planner I've just been posting 8-billion times on the IG account.  Which... has lead this blog to be even further abandoned.  Yep.  Awkward.

But I want to write!  I like to write.  I really do.  I like to blab on to no one, and I like looking back on those blabbings.  It's fun times, trust me.  So, here's a Baileys Lately.


  • So, there's this new Mickey Mouse show on Disney Junior called Mickey and the Roadster Racers.  I thought, "Pshh, how lame."  Uh, apparently not.  George randomly asked to watch it.  Now he's hooked.  Apparently, I was wrong.
  • Maren can reach any hazardous-anything on the kitchen counter and it's... fun.  She knows the colors of the dangerous things, too.  So that's an added joy.  I can't tell you how many times a Maren has gone running by with a pair of scissors.  Yep.  I'm a good parent.  Not to mention the knives.  She's just so freaking tall.  How does she accomplish this?  How does she even see these things?  That girl be cray-cray.
  • George ate a vanilla wafer at his OT appointment two weeks ago and Gluten George is just barely receding to his dark cave and normal George is returning to his rightful place.  Gotta love us some Gluten George.  He's a total joy--said in the most sarcastic way possible.
  • After using Instagram for so long in my, "Hey, this is what's up," journaling, I have the constant urge to insert emoticons as I write this.  Yep, 21st Century mom over here.  Oh dear...
  • Now that Sofia is legit walking, seeing all three kids cruising around the house together is both hilarious and slightly sentimental.  Hilarity comes from the drunk walking of the girls.  It's so great to watch, truly funny.
  • I don't know if I ever documented this, but for a long time I've been able to vacuum with no one crying or being upset.  It's been heavenly.  And also very, very needed.  Maren and Sofia like to Hulk smash things and George loves makin' it rain with cereal.  Kids are fun.
  •  Bradley got me a new vacuum for Christmas and I love it so, so, so much.  I love vacuums.  So much.  I lust after vacuums.  I'm probably a stay-at-home mom.  Possible.
  • Sofie has started blowing kisses.  It's adorable on its own, but then instead of making a "mwah" noise she blows raspberries while she does it.  SO CUTE.
  • Maren now makes the "mwah" kissy noises.  And it's so freaking cute I die a little each time.
  • George has started calling me a "dork".  I'll say, "You're a dork, George," and he'll respond, "No, you're a dork."  It's so great.  That's my boy!
  • Just how many independent distributor based companies are there, exactly?  Like, seriously?  And is it a rule that the majority of them must be related to weight less or lip-something?  Just wondering.  No reason.